We are now home and everyone is getting back to normal. Lincoln decided he didn’t want to go to anymore hospitals because “they leave this tape stuff all over me.” I didn’t tell him I disliked hospitals for far different reasons. But we made it through, the tests were great and hopefully they will leave him alone for a while. The doctor said I must have used some Mama Magic and I laughed and told her absolutely that was true.

Friday night I drove the 29 miles to Oceans 11 to play a bit. What fun I had, really hadn’t laughed that much in a long long time. Felt great, played great and made enough for all my buy-ins at Caesars this week .. fun.

Dont think my view of hospitals and traditional medicine will ever change, not after all I’ve seen in this arena. I’m the first to admit a good dose of penicillan can mean the difference between life and death, but the rest of this stuff is hogwash. Lincoln has had some intenstinal things going on with him. He was scoped last year and for the better part of the last year the doctor has had Don petrified with a myriad of frightening diseases. We left here last year with them all agreeing to pour Prevacid down him every day. You ever read the back of the box on that drug? We went round and round at my house. Finally, a few months in, while Don was traveling, I
stopped the Prevacid and altered his diet to the things it was clear to me caused him problems, and added a supplement which helped to push stuff down. Bingo. He began to thrive. Doctors wanted togo back in at the six month mark and I argued for a year, which is now. Doctor told Don after consulting with her colleagues she believes the dread marks she found in his intestines a year ago were likely caused by the Previcid, the very drug she prescribed.

This morning they will do a year check and it is my suspicion he will have a clean bill of health and then hopefully some peace for a while. Just such a bizarre way to approach patient healthcare.

Geez, this camping is hard work. It is Spring Break and we have to take Lincoln down to get some tests, so off we went. A California flea market on Saturday and then to an amusement park. My sunburned shoulders probably would have survived one of days but back to back was rather brutal. But at least through the course of it I am learning how to use, fix, repair, set up the motorhome, so that is all pretty cool.

Well on Friday the bottom dropped out of the online gaming market in the US. The government issued subpoenas for executives of the largest online operators (interesting to me it wasnt the owners, but those executives who actually ran the businesses on a day to day basis). I do think this is the death knoll to states trying to do legislation but is a perfect forum for the feds and the online operators to forge a deal, at least for online poker. Interesting indeed.

Heard this morning from one of my early bosses in Louisiana who employed me as a legal secretary when I was working my way through college and law school. Old friends of ours, he was the District Attorney and she is the first woman elected to the Louisiana State Supreme Court, five sons, learned their oldest killed himself yesterday.

I’ve always felt there are three ways to lose a child, all of them horrible of course, but scaled in a way. The most humane way, if there is such a thing, is when you get to be there and hold them and to say goodbye. God bless that is what I had with Hayden. Then there’s that dreaded call from the police telling you of a horrible accident, and then there’s the most dreaded of all, losing a child to suicide. What an awful feeling that must be. No matter your relationship any parent in the world is going to feel they lost touch with their child if their child felt their last resort was to take their own life. God be with Eddie and Jeanette during this tragic time.

Well, you know, we’re all headed there. Old age. I certainly don’t dwell on it and after all I’ve been through I’m glad my survivability seems to stay in tact. One night Hayden had me to do a longevity test, he was about 12, and we filled out the questions together. It came back and said I would live to be 107 and Hayden was thrilled with that assessment. I’ve decided losing him took at least 10 years off my life and I am happy with that number too. So 97 it is.

So I don’t spend much time dwelling on age and getting older. I expect I will continue to work and try to make a difference in this world. At the end of it I want to be able to look around and know I left the world a better place than how I found it. I expect to get there.

Why all this reflection? To talk about the people I don’t understand. My own mother decided a couple of years ago to stop speaking to two thirds of her children. My sister and I were ostracized, yet again, by this most troubled of souls. We’ve been on the outside much more than inside, if we were ever on the inside of her. She never saw Hayden until the twins were born except for a couple of times Hayden and I were visiting my sister then we would see her for a few moments. Hard case that one.

This past week I sent Sierra’s dance recital invitation to her, as Sierra wanted to send it to her, although they have no recollection of what she looks like and don’t remember ever seeing her as she hasn’t seen them since Hayden crossed over. I addressed the envelope for Sierra and we sent her invitation. She returned it, unopened with her handwriting saying “Return to Sender.”

If I had those kind of issues with my children I would have to seek them out, find them and force them to talk through it. And I would apologize, something unthinkable to my mother, and something she’s never done. I won’t be where she is, EVER, I can assure you of that.