Christmas morning is especially hard as it was Hayden’s favorite day of the year, as it is for all children. It is why we bought the house in New York and why we chose the cruise this year. It is just too painful to be home on such a special day and have one of your children absent.
This year I took some presents with me on the boat and the children opened them on Christmas morning. The rest were here. At dinner on the Eve of Christmas was “fancy dress” as L & S called it in the restaurant. So we dressed fancy. Don handed me a little package which had been signed by the three of them. Before I tell you what it is there’s a little story to tell.
When Hayden was five years old we were reading Winnie the Pooh. There’s a part of the story where Pooh says to his best friend “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I would never have to live a day without you.” I read it to him as part of the story but Hayden stopped me and said, “Mom, that’s me.” I had already gone on to another part of the book and said, unknowingly, “what’s you Hayden?”. He said that part about living to be one day less than you Mom, that’s me cuz’ I would never want to live here without you.” I held him close and promised him that would never happen.
I had completely forgotten that story, never thought of it again.
One day this fall I was at the little gift shop next to where Lincoln and Sierra do their math tutoring after school. Just looking around this shop which specializes in unique gifts. I look up on the wall and there was a picture frame, quite large, on the wall and around the picture was those words from Winnie the Pooh. The memory of that special time with Hayden came back in a flood, and my promise to him, and my realization that, unfortunately, the promise I made to him had come true – he would never have to live one day on this world without me. How I wish I would have been wrong.
By the time Don arrived the tears were flowing from my eyes. I told him why and thought no more of it.
Don, being Don, returned to the shop to get the frame for me for Christmas. The big one was gone but they had a little handpainted plaque which is desk size. He got that, the three of them inscribed it, and they gave it to me on Christmas Eve. It will always be treasured.
Don has given me a lot of nice gifts the last 10 years but this one is the best. It touches my heart, my mother’s heart, the very heart I didn’t even know I had until I was 36 years old, in ways I cannot describe. Still can’t describe. So Don, thanks for this, it means the world to me. And Hayden … thanks for the memory.
