If we’re lucky, really lucky, someone comes along in our lives at a crucial juncture and guides us on the right path. My time was the spring semester of my junior year, I had transferred to Bolton High from ASH and had all of the “new” kid issues. My parents were divorced, my older brother had been expelled before graduation and I was lost.
Bonnie Toney took me in, under her wing, into her heart and made me a part of her family. It all started at the end of the school year when all the kids got together to celebrate school being out and there I was all alone. “What are you doing after school ends today?” Oh nothing I said. She thought that wouldn’t do and called her son Blake and told him I was coming along with his girlfriend and group after the end of school. I’m sure he groaned, but, as it turned out, not for long.
We all spent the day out on their boat and that was the end of Blake’s current girlfriend. I’ll never know if I was invited because she felt sorry for me or wanted a change in her son’s girlfriend, but either way it worked out.
From there started an anchoring I had never known in my life but had always wanted. Friday nights were spent playing cards and drinking soda, laughing and feeling safe. Weekends were at their camp. Blake and I went off to college together but when i decided to switch schools we broke up.
From college I went off to DC to start my career, staying in touch with the family. Penny taught me to write, filling in the blanks that were left from my erratic childhood. They dubbed me “Little Bit” short for Little Bit of Hellfire, a nickname which has stuck. When Blake was struck with an aneurysm and died so suddenly I got back to Alexandria as quickly as I could. What a terrible, awful tragedy. Blake was only 27, so incredibly young.
No matter where I was in the world working a campaign, I always made it to their house for Christmas. On one of those trips back we were talking and I had a chance to tell Bonnie thank you. “For what Little Bit?” she asked, genuinely surprised. “For believing in me Bonnie, for loving me and for always being there for me.” She just smiled and said “I love you.”
I have wondered more than I have ever said it what would have happened to me if she hadn’t come along. Everyone needs someone to believe in them, everyone needs a champion. Bonnie Toney was mine. She changed my life. Thank you Bonnie, always. Love, Little Bit
June 4th, 2010 at 8:31 PM
I wish I had someone like Bonnie in my life when I was young. I really didn’t know just how dsyfrunctional my home life was until I left and joined the Navy. I spent 20 years in the Military running from my home. I’m fortunate that I have a wonderful husband who you have met… his pic is in you WPT picture and I was next to him when you won. You and I turned out OK, you had Bonnie and I had the US Navy.
June 6th, 2010 at 7:20 PM
Beautiful story, Nancy. I hope she gets to read it.
June 6th, 2010 at 7:31 PM
I know you must have been that person for many people in your lifetime, so you are definitely returning the favor. Through your scholarship fund alone, you are changing many lives. And after meeting you and your family recently, I got to see how much your children look up to you. You are a great mom and a role model for many people.
June 20th, 2010 at 11:33 AM
Nancy, this was beautiful, really very beautiful. I am sure that you are who you are due in part because of Bonnie. Reading your blog about your children and other family members I have gotten some insight into your world. It’s clear you are carrying the torch (Bonnie would be proud). I think you are terrific.