Well on Friday the bottom dropped out of the online gaming market in the US. The government issued subpoenas for executives of the largest online operators (interesting to me it wasnt the owners, but those executives who actually ran the businesses on a day to day basis). I do think this is the death knoll to states trying to do legislation but is a perfect forum for the feds and the online operators to forge a deal, at least for online poker. Interesting indeed.

Heard this morning from one of my early bosses in Louisiana who employed me as a legal secretary when I was working my way through college and law school. Old friends of ours, he was the District Attorney and she is the first woman elected to the Louisiana State Supreme Court, five sons, learned their oldest killed himself yesterday.

I’ve always felt there are three ways to lose a child, all of them horrible of course, but scaled in a way. The most humane way, if there is such a thing, is when you get to be there and hold them and to say goodbye. God bless that is what I had with Hayden. Then there’s that dreaded call from the police telling you of a horrible accident, and then there’s the most dreaded of all, losing a child to suicide. What an awful feeling that must be. No matter your relationship any parent in the world is going to feel they lost touch with their child if their child felt their last resort was to take their own life. God be with Eddie and Jeanette during this tragic time.

Well, you know, we’re all headed there. Old age. I certainly don’t dwell on it and after all I’ve been through I’m glad my survivability seems to stay in tact. One night Hayden had me to do a longevity test, he was about 12, and we filled out the questions together. It came back and said I would live to be 107 and Hayden was thrilled with that assessment. I’ve decided losing him took at least 10 years off my life and I am happy with that number too. So 97 it is.

So I don’t spend much time dwelling on age and getting older. I expect I will continue to work and try to make a difference in this world. At the end of it I want to be able to look around and know I left the world a better place than how I found it. I expect to get there.

Why all this reflection? To talk about the people I don’t understand. My own mother decided a couple of years ago to stop speaking to two thirds of her children. My sister and I were ostracized, yet again, by this most troubled of souls. We’ve been on the outside much more than inside, if we were ever on the inside of her. She never saw Hayden until the twins were born except for a couple of times Hayden and I were visiting my sister then we would see her for a few moments. Hard case that one.

This past week I sent Sierra’s dance recital invitation to her, as Sierra wanted to send it to her, although they have no recollection of what she looks like and don’t remember ever seeing her as she hasn’t seen them since Hayden crossed over. I addressed the envelope for Sierra and we sent her invitation. She returned it, unopened with her handwriting saying “Return to Sender.”

If I had those kind of issues with my children I would have to seek them out, find them and force them to talk through it. And I would apologize, something unthinkable to my mother, and something she’s never done. I won’t be where she is, EVER, I can assure you of that.

Yesterday morning Sierra emerges from her closet with three tee shirts and asks me where they came from. I dont know, I say, but they’re cute and off she goes to school with one of them tucked into a pair of jeans. Later in the day I get a call from my brother in law who had stayed here last weekend with a work colleague. “Jason left a bag with three tee shirts for his daughters at your house last weekend” he says. He wanted to swing by and pick them up on the way to the airport. Well, I told him, I’ve got good news and bad news. Good news, we did find the bag, bad news is the housekeeper washed them and hung them for the kids and Sierra is at school now with one of them on. We did all laugh. Be careful what you leave at my house as it will get incorporated into the mix with no questions asked.

I went to the Venetian yesterday to play their daily tournament. My friend Gene Castro was at my table. The last two times we’ve been at the same table I’ve been ousted first, always with a pair of KK and have lost both times, so this time, he went first. 208 players, ran very deep but no real monster hands. Then I have AJ of clubs, unraised pot, two callers, flop a four flusher and the turn gives me the nut flush. We get it all in and the turn gave him a straight flush … I just laughed out loud when I realized I wasn’t good on that disguised board and said “I can’t beat a straight flush Sir,” and that was the end of my poker day. Brother in law and a coworker of his got in town last night. I fed them and then we played poker at the kitchen table until 3 a.m. It was fun …

My children have been all over Las Vegas from private to public. We have continued to look for the spot which fits them well. Short of the big issue with the pesticides the public school close to the house has done well. Although I haven’t liked having 20-21 students in their respective second grade classes they both seem to be thriving. I went to the school last night for a meeting about the budget cuts and it’s all bad news. The class size for the smaller grades will rise but there is no mandated number for 3rd through 5th so their existing 30-35 pupils per one teacher (yes, that is the real number), is going to go up. It’s already too high at where it starts. I’ve never been a private school snob but I feel like I pay for the smaller class size. These two aren’t self starters, they need extra help and there’s no way they can get the proper foundation with 30-35 students in the classroom. Won’t work … got to get through second grade this year first.